TOM SHARP

Hi!

Today was another frigid day, and I was happy to have access to an indoor track. I don't like to expose my body to extremes in weather. Too much sun is not good for my skin, and cold air is not good for my lungs. In my younger days, I baked in the sun from April until October. No more. Sunbathing ages our skin and, of course, causes skin cancer. My sunbathing days stopped 20 years ago when we moved to Eureka Springs. I'm over a tan.

We arrived at the track around 9:30 and signed in. Our ID cards weren't ready yet. Forty-two people joined the community center yesterday, and the ID card maker was up to her wazoo trying to get them all finished. We were allowed to proceed to the track -- ID cardless -- and we hit the track walking fast. Lots of people were there this morning. One of them was Tom Sharp.

Tom Sharp (left) the oldest bowler in the Monday Night Men's League in Berryville, AR.

We could see him walkling slowly up ahead, and Don asked, "Isn't that Tom Sharp?"

I could tell that it was, and if I hadn't worried that Tom might hear me, I might have answered, "No....that's what's left of Tom Sharp."

We've known Tom for three years. At 78 years old, he's the oldest man in Don's bowling league. Like many other older people, Tom is very serious about staying active. He walks at the track, bowls in several leagues, and he is always working a part-time job somewhere. As a matter of fact, he had a job interview this very day for a job selling ads for one of our small weekly newspapers. He gets bored just hanging around the house since his retirement from a family-owned printing company. Tom reminds me of the Energizer Bunny. He just keeps on going. What makes this remarkable is the fact that Tom can't breathe.

A bad case of emphysema....not to say that there is ever a good case of it..... and other medical problems like painful arthritis slow him down to a crawl. He huffs and puffs through life all day .....every day. Sometimes he is so breathless that he can barely talk and walk at the same time. He was like that today. He was walking slowly and resting often. Not trying to set any speed records, he just plugged doggedly along trying to get his mile in. Our track is a small one, and 15 laps is equal to a mile. We lapped him time after time. Everybody did, but he was focused on getting in his mile. I wanted to breathe for him. His breathlessness made me breathless too.

"Here, Tom, take some of my air. I don't need it all."

He asks for no assistance or special consideration. Not ever. Not here at the track. Not at the bowling alley. Tom is not a whiner. He's always cheerful and jokes a lot. He is determined to fulfill his obligations to himself and to others. I've learned something from Tom: simply showing up is half the battle. When you're faced with a tough task, don't avoid it; at least show up. It might not be as bad as you think. Once you get there, just do your best. That's all anybody can expect.

I admire Tom's tenacity. He attacked that track and held on like a pit bull. He has a quick mind and a great sense of humor. He's sociable and likes to stay active. If he didn't get the ad job today, I know he will keep looking until he finds something else.

Tom and his wife don't do too much together. I asked if she ever accompanied him to the track to walk. He said she did so very rarely. She's a couch potato, and Tom gets bored sitting around the house with her all day. This is another sad example of something that is seen so often in the offices of marriage counselors: married people with nothing in common. Some people are curious, clever, and adventurous all their lives. They want to stay active and learn new things. They enjoy being around other people. It's sad that they, invariably, marry who don't.

Why does that happen so often? Why do night owls, who like to stay up late and sleep in, always marry people who hit the sack by 9:30 and rise at 7 o'clock in the morning? Why do people, who are always freezing, marry people who start fanning themselves and gasping for breath when the thermometer hits 60 degrees. I don't think it can be explained away by "opposites attract."

I think it's because people are dishonest about who they really are when they are dating. Maybe "dishonest" is too strong a word; it's really because, when we are trying to appeal to another human being in the hopes of luring them to the altar, we try to be as much like them as possible. We pretend that we like staying up late to watch old movies. We act like we love sushi, or, as in my case, pretend that we just absolutely adore attending drag car races. If I had it to do all over again........ well, I have to admit that I would probably still go to those car races. I wanted Don to like me. We agree to participate in all kinds of activities that we detest or that bore us silly, just to please the object of our desire.

So, then, we have two people, all ga-ga in love, trying their best to become just like the other person. That's not honest, but we are ruled by our hormones at those times, and we do what we gotta do to catch our victim...uh, I mean spouse..... in our sticky web and wrap 'em up for the kill.

Only after we have them safely under our spell, do we have the confidence to ask, "Do we really have to go to that noisy, old night club tonight? I'd rather watch The Tonight Show until I fall asleep around 11." Then our differences start popping out of the woodwork. But wouldn't you think that once ...just once.... somebody would marry somebody who likes everything they do....really? I don't think that would be boring. It would be great!

But getting back to Tom Sharp. He's an example of what I want in my own life when I'm older and what I don't want. I do not want to suffer from the medical problems Tom suffers from. I want clear, strong lungs, and to be able to walk briskly around the track. I don't want to gasp for every breath, or have to sit down and rest often during an exercise session. If only he had made changes in his eating habits or exercise regimens earlier; maybe he wouldn't be in such bad shape now. I feel good that Don and I have started thinking seriously about our health early enough to make real changes.

It's never too late. I read about a study that introduced strength training into the lives of nursing home residents. In 6 months, those people were tossing canes into the air and kicking their walkers out of the way. They were feeling better, had better attitudes and were healthier and stronger. Exercise..... 30 minutes to an hour a day. That's the secret weapon. Don and I are taking positive measures to get fit. The fact that we are doing it together makes it even more satisfying and fun.

I admire Tom's determination to get out of the house every day in his pursuit to remain an active individual. He will not let his brain turn to mush, nor will he allow his infirmities to slow him down or stop him. You can be sure that he will be at the bowling alley or the track unless something terrible has happened to him. It would have to be something really bad to stop him;

I've seen him bowl with pneumonia. I've also seen him bowl with his hands taped to ease the arthritic pain. He's tough. I hope I can be as disciplined as Tom when I'm his age. Heck, I wish I were that disciplined now.

I weighed this morning. My weight stayed the same. I took all my vitamins and prescribed medicines today. I hope I can get in bed at a decent time tonight. Getting enough sleep is important for good health. I know I don't get enough. I'm aiming for 7 hours now. I thought I'ld aim for a 11:00 bedtime instead of my usual 2:00 A.M. but it's 11:17 now. I have to get cracking!

Good night!